I don’t remember what life was like before you.

It’s funny, because there were years between knowing everyone else and knowing you,

and yet I can’t remember what those days felt like.

Was I happy? Sad?

Did I feel like I was missing a piece of myself?

Like something world-changing was just beyond my grasp?

I don’t remember,

and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to.

But I envy that girl that didn’t know you.

She didn’t wake up with a pain in her chest.

She didn’t panic so much writing every text that they never got sent.

She didn’t connect every romance book to a moment in our past.

She didn’t reminisce, and miss,

and cry into the blanket you gifted.

Instead she lived, and laughed, and loved unconditionally.

She didn’t have to guard that heart on her sleeve.

But it isn’t easy to love like that anymore.

Life makes it far too complicated,

even for seemingly perfect pairs destined to be.

So as much as it hurts,

and I know nothing can ever be…

No matter how hard I wish upon every star that it could…

I am glad to know you,

or at least to have known you…

Even just for a little while…

My Halley star-crossed lover.